I love good food. I love the way brings people together. I enjoy the taste of each mouthful, that is, until I am reminded that I am eating too much. Wait what? Just because I eating normally and enjoying it?
Maybe I should just stop….
Maybe it’s our society constantly reminding us to watch our weight. Hence, as a young child, I would be watching my calories and exercising. I felt like a whale amongst elegant swans in my ballet performances.
Then puberty hit.
It was hell….
I looked at my elders around me… Most were rounder and plumper. I was mortified.
When I looked at some of my thin friends, I was jealous. I stopped eating lunch and just ate a small container of jello from the cafeteria. An apple was my after-school snack. The scale and measuring tape was my life. Working out for hours was my past time.
I felt in control. But, I wasn’t happy.
Adulthood was the same. However, becoming a nutritionist helped me to relax and enjoy a happy balance, for a while.
After having two children, I learned that weight wasn’t everything. I understood that I needed nourishment to take care of my babies. Continuing to maintain my health was my priority, not my weight.
But, I was anxious. Secretly, I hated myself. I wasn’t as thin as I was before giving birth. Others jokingly reminded that I was thin in the photos didn’t help.
I could see that, I didn’t need another reminder! Luckily, I would force myself to put on a brave face and continued my day.
Till this day, I have a negative body image. Being a foodie, my internal struggle haunts me each time. Therefore, I like to pack my leftovers. I tend try different dishes, then pack it for the next meal. Otherwise, I like to take photos of my friends dish to add to my foodie collection.
Negative Body Image Types And Symptoms (Break Binge Eating)
- General unhappiness with one’s body as a whole or its specific parts
- Equating one’s self-worth on the basis of what they look like or weigh
- Obsessively scrutinizing one’s body in front of a mirror or reflection
- Repetitive negative thoughts about one’s body that interferes with many life domains
- Refusal to look at one’s body due to anxiety
- Perceiving one’s body to be larger than it really is
- Extreme anxiety over gaining weight
- Making disparaging comments about one’s body and frequent comparison of one’s shape and size to other people
- Feelings of being trapped in a larger body
Contributors of negative body image (Better Health Channel)
Some of the factors that contribute to a negative body image include:
- being teased about appearance in childhood
- growing up in a household where emphasis is placed on appearance of a particular ideal body size or shape
- parents and other family members experiencing body dissatisfaction and engaging in dieting or weight control behaviours
- a cultural tendency to judge people by their appearance
- peer pressure among teenage girls and women to be slim, go on diets, exercise and compare themselves with others
- media and advertising images that promote particular appearance ideals
- a tendency in women’s media to push fad diets and weight loss programs
- well-meaning public health campaigns that urge people to lose weight. —- Better Health Channel
I look at this list and can identify with all of them.
Everyday I have to remind myself that I am healthy and that’s what counts! Plus, I am exercise by doing K-pop Zumba workouts because I love it!
If some think that I am overweight and not up to their standards, then it’s too bad for them.