Book Review: Bring Them Closer By Connie Jakab

As a mother, I am excited to meet a fellow writer and blogger. Connie Jakab is a mother of two young boys. Mental health has been one of the main focus of her family life.

Below is an excerpt from her website….

Photo Courtesy of Connie Jakab website

“I know what it’s like to experience the agony of a mental health crisis in the family, but I have also experienced the miracle of our family’s story being rewritten.

When my son was six years old he was diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and ADHD. By the time he was eight years old, he was suicidal. We spent most of his childhood without the tools or resources to parent him in the ways that he needed.

Depression for my son showed up as anger, and we had no idea how to handle this. When we brought him to the hospital and the psychologist asked me what I would do when he would throw fits of rage, I explained to her,

I send him to his room.

I would tell him when he was ready to be a good boy he could come out. She then said something that has changed everything for our family. She replied,

Oh no, you never send the hurting away from you… you bring them closer. ❞”

—- Connie Jakab website

Interesting Points:

  • We don’t push our kids away from us because we don’t care about our kids; rather, we do this because our culture has “sold” this to us. (Pg.3)
  • For parents struggling with strong-willed children, do not give in to the desire to put them in a timeout— it will only backfire. (Pg.52)
  • Oppositional defiance (Pg.54)
  • ADHD (Pg.57)
  • It’s both unrealistic and depressing to assume we have to be perfect in order for our kids to be mentally healthy. (Pg.81)
  • “Hurt people hurt people.” (Pg.87)
  • Connection is key. (Pg.88)

Conclusion:

I highly recommend all parents to read this book. The information and techniques that she mentions in there can be helpful to us parents during this pandemic. The recommendations can also inspire the adults too.

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